my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
