I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize