New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
