we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
