dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
