The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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