I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
