Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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