im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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