coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
