i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
