Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize