you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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