He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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