I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
