I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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