What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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