people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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