I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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