do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize