i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
