how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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