I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize