We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize