Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
