He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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