If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
