in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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