yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
