A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
