Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
