so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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