i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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