nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
