Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
