Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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