Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
