you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
