Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
