so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize