yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
