How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
