I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
