Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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