He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
