shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
