wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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