I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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