i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize