Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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