How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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