Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
