Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize