Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
