Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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