So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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