I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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